Friday, March 16, 2018

like a limerick painted black and orange

When unexpected reciprocity reminded the banker of her left shoe's broken heel, the calamity that would have put asunder the sympathizer was dealt a terminal blow. All subversive witnesses kept a log of the event into which they wrote nothing; as logging such things is against the policy.

Blandly flavoured rice as a side dish to fledgling excellence makes hungry those starved of both food and relentless ambition.

The Witch Doctor prescribed exaggerated elocution, twice a day, while reciting the alphabet both forwards and backwards.


Green is a colour that only two thirds of a fifth would pick for the ideal fragrance used by a sturgeon fisherman who paints his perennially hidden toenails.

A silhouette once chased me down the length of a tunnel that traverses the highway and train tracks from the south to the north. Once I turned the corner at the north end of the tunnel, the silhouette disappeared; as they so often do. Perhaps it was never there to begin with. I suppose I will never know with certainty.

If people from the after life go bowling do they also get a 'turkey' symbol if they get three strikes in a row?

I have used a Galatian sword to open up unwelcome postal mail exactly zero times in the last six minutes. I am not certain whether it was because I have no Galation sword, or because I received no unwelcome postal mail.

Do remember to think twice before reacting.

Thursday, March 08, 2018

when snow makes its appearance at the Oscars

The light switch, much like the power outlet, are all naked. They expect to be clothed today.

The ceiling panel, much like the floor stiles, will remain untouched.

The left armpit, much like the dandelion, will have some sense of odour.

The weakness, much like the strength, is only useful some of the time. I should know.

Winch the cinch, in a bunch that is crunched. It is slippery, that slope.

Monday, March 05, 2018

mixing paint like a bowling ball leaches feces

Put a LONSET on a TARVA, and put a MORGEDAL on the LONSET, 'full' size, not queen or king. 'Full' is also known as 'double'. Who knew?

Next, a couple of RAST nightstands, a handful of ALANGs and my trips to Ikea ought to be done.

Moved into an apartment, have I, so far so good. Will be doing some painting in the coming days.

In other news, G-bot, C-Ling and V-8 are all on March break this week. The two older ones have an additional week off in the subsequent week. On the Friday of that second week G-bot is heading to Columbia on a school mission to work in a destitute community.

That's about it, for now.

Monday, February 19, 2018

twice the uncertainty, half the calamity

The unfairness of the situation is naively absent from the innocent beep. I am the beneficiary and it strikes me as incredulous that I am in that position. Who can tell what this looks like from the beep's perspective.

I certainly can't.

Appreciation shown is like a limerick, re-written, a hundred times; just to get the punctuation correct.

Thursday, February 15, 2018

Winter Olympics?

Yes, I am a total Olympics junkie.

We are super blessed here in Canada to have our CBC carry the Olympics as they are doing a stellar job. Both as an app on my mobile device and on their website you have three choices to watch any event:
1. Full event, where you can watch from beginning to end, the entire event; they play these live as they happen, and then they are available as a recording afterwards.
2. Condensed event, this becomes available after the event, where they take interesting parts of the event and show them in a format that is longer than a hilight reel.
3. Hilights; just a one or two minute summary of the event.

So, if you are really keen on the sport/event, you can watch the full event. If you are only so/so interested, you can watch the condensed, and if it is a sport you aren't really interested in, but you have an athlete from your country that did well, you can watch the hilights.

Watching the events unfold this winter gives me all the more impetus to find a way to get me to Tokyo in 2020 for the summer Olympics. Canada does not do nearly as well in Summer Olympics as we do in Winter, but I prefer the idea of being too hot watching the events as compared to being too cold.

The plan is to use my Aviion points for airfare and to rent an AirBNB apartment somewhere in Tokyo that is between the two main zones of events; and then, add to that the expense of the event tickets. I have a coworker in mind that I have spoken to that would come with me, but I have not yet had the conversation with this person concerning what the expected cost would be.

The AirBNB could be about 150$/night, for 10 nights that 1500$, split between two people is 750$. That's pretty much the only savings.

Tickets for the events could add up to between 5000 and 8000$.

Given this may be the only time I go to the Olympics ever, I am also considering the idea of staying all the way through, so have tickets to both the Opening and the Closing ceremonies and take in a smattering of events throughout the 16 days of events. I would make sure to have a few off days where I can be a tourist in Tokyo, or, simply take it easy in the AirBNB doing very little. Staying for that long would obviously increase the costs; but if this is my one opportunity to do this, I'd want to make the most of it.

Anyhow, those are my thoughts about the Olympics. Hopefully North Korea doesn't blow up Tokyo between now and 2020.

Friday, February 09, 2018

When the butterfly quits smoking

There is an aptitude that gets used to examine the least coloured of all brick laying hedge rims; to decipher if a quadraphonic pit variable would erase the centenarian's penchant for licking stamps a third time after two very satisfying first times.

The beep in my life is of such richness but shallow; like a pond built only for Hot Wheels cars. Is there even room for sentient AIs that give creepy messages to the first third while promoting wisdom to the other thirds?

There are no oppo-suits that would bake the cake; they'd just stand lustfully watching the Star Wars themed socks that danced the night away. Once the night was away, a lot of people got sun burnt.

A rich man once said that two times two is not the best idea a sturgeon could have on her way to the ice cream store to gain favour with the attendant. I should know.

Who knows what the solution isn't. Figuring it out is half the battle.

Thursday, February 08, 2018

call of the window, not the door

It wasn't anything like what the expectations indicated ought to have happened.

A mesmerizing occupational distraction ridiculed the thoughts that were just outside of the evasive manouvre.

Decreasing the lipids won't make Nippon any less popular as a sidekick journey of the O's.

Support the extra, bring excitement, just remember to pack light. Light.

I know I'll spend the hard cash, baking it twice; but who knows what other left wing depositor will vanquish non-stigmatically.

A triumvirate could celebrate, but only if the clock strikes the fox.

There is an unlikeliness that parades around the centaur, much like a race to the bottom which is a false bottom as we all know things can go further down than they already are.

I'd go even if it was only me.

Thursday, February 01, 2018

well, then, like she said

There are no boxes where the antelope decided to sit down to play RISK.

Counting down from eleven to twelve is the oppo-suit that a dinosaur would wear to the bridal shower of a hemp manufacturer that takes Thursdays off to play with her chemistry set.

A ruler decided that all of the oven sized wrist bearings would divide military grade toothpaste with a 3x3 cm post-it note.

How many millimetres in an isotope?

Depends on what year the cockroach elected to pantomime like a derelict lamp post, shining in broad daylight.

Count your chickens before the fox gets hungry.

Friday, January 26, 2018

deranged isometric calf muscles

There is no advantage to creating a disadvantage that sullies a recreation of something not created previously.

A gold haircut sold by a thirteen year old sensationalist played Parcheesi against a Kentucky Derby styled window frame that had been repainted with the same colour on three separate occasions.

Three banquets went bowling on a Tuesday morning.

The snow removal teams in my city, when removing the snow from my street, always do it at night; late at night.

I counted exactly zero leaks in the digital photo frame used to display representations of people.

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

when bicycles get used as a shoe shine product

The eye liner I did not use on my left protuberance wept bitterly for a lack of available intoxication shoe liners. There were no windows involved.

Today my youngest, V-8 celebrates turning nine years old, the last single digit age. This makes her 3287 days old today. It isn't every day that someone has a birthday. Well, perhaps I'm wrong about that.

Number of days in year: 365.
Number of people in world: 7.6 billion or so

If the world's population was evenly distributed, having an equal number of people born on each day of the year, this would be about 20.7 million people celebrating their birthday each day.

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

There were no Cheerios in my suitcase

I have never been to China.

I also have never eaten chain mail.

An iota of infrastructural serendipity egressed from the pin striped suit; only to be claimed by the next female doberman who chose that moment to slobber-intake what could be found in the vicinity.

The raucous interruption of the grave yard peace caused the scurrying of a great number of spiders. The arachnophobes were not impressed, compelling them to question their own behaviour.

Danger is not a byproduct of eating a ham and cheese sandwich, well, that is, unless your ham is made of glass shards and your cheese is laced with cyanide. It sure does sound yummy, though.

A mulberry milkshake that causes mild gastrointestinal discomfort became a bestseller as a wedding present to those that got married on even numbered dates in odd numbered months.

Being partially incapacitated while trying to floss your ankles due to an ear drum imbalance is the least provocative thing a sinusoid could do while parrying the concept of radical honesty.

Diminishing the stuff that collects in a home over the first 16,200 days of one's life is an enormous task. My thinking is to get a large bin and just fill it and have it taken away. First I would need to very selectively decide what to keep.

There are just so many barnacles.